My first game ⭑.ᐟ

Before I made this game, I was a serial game jam joiner and not a game creator. I loved the hype of getting ready for a game jam and experiencing it with others. By the end of the jam, however, I had nothing to show for my efforts. I think this is important to know because having nothing to show for my creativity while also repeatedly saying I thrived in creativity was eating me up. It felt like a lie. How could I say that I thrived in creativity and I had nothing? That was the catalyst into making this small project.

Before the jam:

Before the jam, I knew exactly what I wanted my project to be about. I knew it would be a small visual novel with a "train conductor girl" that the player would talk to. I had an idea of what I wanted her to look like: 

She originally had overalls but I decided to change it to an actual train conductor's outfit because her speech and tone didn't match the original clothing aesthetic. At this point, I had my script and character all figured out.

During the jam:

Typically during this point in game jams where I have the writing/story and characters figured out I end up at a roadblock. Not only do I end up at a roadblock but, I end up walking down an abyss of perfectionism. My art isn't good enough. What will people think about my story? What if no one plays my game? What if no one can relate to my game? Was this all in vain? These thoughts consume me and I end up giving up. I would use not being skilled enough as an excuse to not participate in a jam. I thought that if I waited until I was good enough, then I could participate. With this jam, I don't know what changed for me. Maybe it was the kind and supportive community that Neo-Twiny has or the requirements of the jam being only 500 words (which can be written in the blink of an eye if you are in the zone!) that made me take another step forward in the game development process.

At this point of development, I had Jennie's sprites and the script. What was left was to make a background, script everything in, adjust the GUI and find a nice soundtrack. Four simple steps, right? Well, I will say that four remaining tasks sounds nice but, making sure everything is cohesive is another skill set that I have yet to learn.

I looked up Ren'Py tutorials on YouTube, and having never used Ren'Py before, I was surprised at how easy it was to get my scripts into the engine. I thought that would be my hardest part out of everything that I had to do but it was straightforward. I then moved onto making the background as I knew I wanted to have a simple train car scene that appeared to be moving. Moving onto the GUI, I thought that I would need to change everything, however, once I imported a font that I really liked into the game engine, I was actually satisfied with how it looked. Finally, I ran into another roadblock - music. 

I have taken music theory classes before and, like learning the basics of programming, I thought, "What do I do with this knowledge?". The great thing about the internet is that you can find many resources on just about anything if you look hard enough. At this point, I wanted my game to just be out there. I found a nice track by Eric Matyas. After many trials and errors of making little things work, I was done.

Reflection:

I was proud of what I made. It felt like a huge stepping stone for me and my confidence was boosted. I often think, "I wish I could by like X." but since making this game, I realized that there isn't a project like mine out there so I should be proud of myself! My game and outlook on life may not be the same as other people's but it may bring comfort to others and I learned that that's what I want to do. I want to reach those people. I want my games to bring those people comfort while also being a bit silly from time to time.

I think that it's okay to be bad at something as long as you try again. Instead of saying, "I wish I wasn't a terrible programmer" or "I wish my art was better" I am going to say "I am going to work on not being a terrible programmer". I'm going to work on being a better artist, a better musician, a better storyteller, because a skill is something that develops overtime and not overnight.

If you made it all the way down here, thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that you achieve your dreams. 

-joos

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